No Pants for Anyone!

Apparently Montana legislators want to ban yoga pants because there’s not really anything else to do in Montana I guess.  Erm, actually they want to ban

“any device, costume, or covering that gives the appearance of or simulates the genitals, pubic hair, anus region, or pubic hair region.”

Well alright then.  *Shelves idea for coat made entirely of pubic hair.*  Before I get to the purpose of the article (slut shaming), it goes on to talk about other clothing bans

“Local lawmakers have gone after pants at the opposite end of the spectrum, too. Cities inFlorida, Louisiana, Georgia, and Illinois have attempted to crack down on so-called “saggy pants,” seeking to target a different group — in this case, young men of color — for wearing their clothing in a way that’s deemed “indecent.”

If there’s a party in your pants the occupancy must be no fewer than two, but no greater than four people.  Or we should just outlaw pants altogether I guess.

I’m a little sad the halcyon days of my youth came before the great yoga pants revolution where in high school butts were most often covered by a thick layer of denim.  I remember gawking at girls in high school (and guys to an extent) and I don’t remember it being particularly distracting to me.  I can imagine though that being leered at is quite a bit more distracting so um…maybe focus on that?

I have to wonder how much this would all change if sexuality wasn’t forbidden fruit.  And I’m not saying you should take a bunch of naked teens and throw them at one another with some kind of naked teen cannon, but if sexuality is something you have access to and something you can begin to understand and figure out how to grapple with, I have to think you don’t really need to be looking at butts in math class.

We know that comprehensive sex ed works when it comes to things like preventing teen pregnancies and the spread of STDs, we’ve got the biology and the mechanics of it figured out but we do a pretty piss poor job of addressing the psychology.  We spend a lot of time teaching students what’s bad, diseases, babies, boning, but almost no time providing them with examples of sexuality expressed healthily and the good that can come out of that.

I’m not a psychologist or a sociologist or an adolescent behavior expert, but I was once an adolescent and the gist of our sex ed was basically like that of Mean Girls: “Don’t have sex because you will get pregnant, and die.  Now everyone take some rubbers.”  And then pretty much everything about sex was shamed into oblivion.  It wasn’t until college and our weekly Freshman Seminar that I learned anything useful about sex that didn’t involve birth control.

That came mostly in the way of segregating the group by gender and having us all write things we thought or felt or wanted or expected out of the opposite sex (which is super hetero/cis-normative in retrospect) and if that didn’t build a lot of bridges it certainly at least helped me learn some things, chief among them that sex is something two people enjoy, not just some weird casino where dudes walk around pulling a bunch of levers to see which slot machines will sleep with them.  Or something.

It seems absurd that I wouldn’t learn something like that until the age of 17, but that’s how terrible sex ed is in this country, and I grew up in New York (upstate, but still).  There’s probably no perfect solution because people are pretty and other people are going to look at them regardless of what they have on (I was into lips as much as I was into boobs and butts so…), but demystifying sexuality and making aspects of it and information on it more readily available would go a long way towards making furtive attempts at getting your fill as a teen wholly unnecessary.

Or teens are just vessels of nothing but hormones and butts are way more fun than math, but the above still stands.

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About Alex

I am awesome.

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