Several prominent left wing politicians took to the airwaves this week to talk about setting yourself on fire and how it can be hazardous to your health. The pols stopped short of proposing any new self-immolation legislation, but strongly warned against this harmful practice.
Totally not the kneejerk opposition to literally anything that comes out of a liberal’s mouth Republican Party officials had a strong response.
“This is an assault on our freedom as Americans” said Senator Rand Paul. “When faced with dangerous propositions such as this, we have to consider what it might lead to. When you give up your freedoms, don’t expect to get them back. If a man wants to set himself on fire, he should have the right to do so.”
“This is a states rights issue,” said Senator and horrible Piers Morgan – Quentin Tarantino splice Ted Cruz. “They might not want to set themselves on fire up there in Tasxchusetts. But down here in Texas we live a little differently.”
Family Research Council Tony Perkins also had strong words for the liberals. “The science on this is very clear. Children do best with a mother and a father that set themselves on fire. You can’t deny the realities of biology and pyrotechnics.”
Added Manhattan Declaration Executive Director Eric Teetsel, “Every society that hasn’t let people set themselves on fire, every single one, has destroyed itself. This will literally lead to the end of civilization as we know it. And that’s what the liberals want.”