Creepy Slut-Shaming Mom Writes Creepy Slut-Shaming Post

Today I came across this blog entry via a friend on Twitter who was pretty fired up about it and after giving it a read I can see why.  The short version is that the author, a mother of three boys, lamented the sluttiness of the poses of teenage girls on facebook while posting a picture of her sons shirtless.  The long of it is this, with my comments in Bold Italics:

I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos.

WEIRD.  This isn’t so much helicopter-parenting as it is Avengers-style military grade helicarrier parenting.

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pajamas this summer!  Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.

How fun, already we’re sinking into cis-nomative stereotypes while at the same time excusing men for slovenliness because they’re men.  Manly men, grr.

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

Yeah…girls don’t actually have to do that you know.

I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

Really…this is what we’re attempting to police.  I mean I get it, I think girls’ attempts to make themselves photogenic are often pretty stupid too, but who really cares?

So, here’s the bit that I think is important for you to realize.  If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.

Oh god…it got creepier.  Look, you should generally make sure your kids are equipped to make good decisions.  You should maybe check up on a few of their shadier friends.  Using social networking to spy on all their friends goes way above and beyond the realm of normal parenting responsibility.  The previous generation complains about today’s kids being coddled…well…SOMEONE HAS TO DO THE FUCKING CODDLING, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?

Please understand this, also: we genuinely like keeping up with you. We enjoy seeing life through your unique and colorful lens – which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.

You know, unless you violate a completely arbitrary code of acceptable conduct.

Those posts don’t reflect who you are! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

First of all, who the hell are you to make that determination?  Pretty sure the only person that gets to determine who someone is, is that fucking person.  Not to mention, posting sexy photos does not compromise anyone’s sense of self, it only compromises your delusional projection of ‘purity.’

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

Creepy, creepy, creeeeeeepy!

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?  You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

A towel actually covers quite a bit.  Ever been to the beach?  Oh, here’s a dirty little secret.  You ready for it?  EVERYONE IS NAKED UNDER THEIR CLOTHES!  Are you really so shallow as to think that seeing someone in a state of undress blots out all other thoughts?  Don’t you have a greater respect for the depth of your boys than that?  NOPE THEY SAW HER ALMOST NAKED, THEY CAN’T APPRECIATE HER FOR ANYTHING ELSE NOW!

Neither do we.

Maybe stop trawling Facebook for scandalous pictures of teenage girls then.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.  If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our on-line island.

There are no second chances?  So not only are you teaching women that they should abide by your again completely arbitrary moral code, but that once they violate it they are broken people forever?  Christ, you are the worst.

I know that sounds harsh and old-school, but that’s just the way it is under this roof for a while. We hope to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

I like this paragraph.  It starts with an apologetic tone and ends with a complete mangling of the definition of integrity.  Look, raise your kids however you want lady, but the reason compasses are useful is because they work whether there’s, say, a brick wall, or a stupid parent’s internet filter in the way.  You’re not helping your boys out by shielding them from parts of the world.

But on to integrity.  Noticing, appreciating, hell, even lingering over beauty says absolutely nothing about integrity.  Integrity is about honest, open consistency, things you’re stifling with your censorship.  Want your boys to learn something?  Leave those pictures up and teach them that beauty is common and intelligence is rare and make them think about which they should prize and prioritize.  And for god’s sake, teach them they have enough room in their boorish male hearts to appreciate both.

Every day I pray for the women my boys will love.  I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient – and act honorably – while they wait for her.

The great thing about beauty is it can hold infinite definitions.  By singling out what you call ‘real’ beauty, you’re being a judgmental bully.  And it’s not a woman’s job to make your son a better person, that’s your job, and in time it will be their job to be that person on their own. (Hopefully you don’t fuck it up.  Not holding my breath.)

Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an on-line mistake (we all do – don’t fret – I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down  anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom.

But you just said there are no second chances.  This clueless mom is in for a world of pain if she learns more than she wants to about her sons.  They’re adolescent boys, it’s ALWAYS easy to imagine women naked.

Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy.

Again character and near-nudity have nothing to do with one another.  There are porn stars raising children and clergymen molesting them.  And this concept of purity is bullshit.  It’s complete, utter, manufactured, bible-bound crap.  It doesn’t mean anything, just ask Bristol Palin.  Or Newt Gingrich, or the thousands of other people that beat this into their kids’ heads instead of teaching them openness and honesty and compassion.

What are you going to do when your kids start looking at porn, when they start dating?  Are you going to equip them with knowledge or are you going to hide parts of the world from them for as long as you can hold out?

You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.

Aww teenage girls, just do things the way I say and you’ll be fine.  More controlling helicopter-parent horseshit.

Act like her, speak like her, post like her.

I’m glad we’re friends.

You just said you blocked her.  And a final thought…CREEEEEEEEEPY!

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About Alex

I am awesome.

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